Journal Entry: Thu May 2, 2013, 5:44 AM
I'm bored and I felt like sharing these "laws" of life.
(They were originally written by a romanian guy so I had to translate.)
1. When you need to open a door, with your hands occupied by ten heavy bags...the key will be in the pocket opposite of the hand which you barely managed to free.
(Law of You'reRingingInVain)
2. The only time the gate closes on its own is when you've left the keys on the other side.
(Law of MotherfuckingBackflippingKeys)
3.When your hands are full of grease, your nose starts tickling.
(Law of NoseyWantsGrease)
4.When everything seems to go really well, it's because you've forgotten something very important.
(Law of I'mSlappingMyself)
5.If you manage to be calm when everyone around you is panicked, it's because you haven't yet understood the gravity of the problem.
(Law of TheCoinHasn'tFallenYet)
6. Problems don't create themselves, nor do they get resolved, they just transform.
(Law of ThisIsn'tLife)
7. You'll manage to run furiously to the ringing phone just to catch the caller hanging up.
(Law of GuessWhoItWas)
8.There's always two good movies on two different programs...but always at the same time.
(Law of They'reMockingUs)
9.The probability of staining yourself is directly proportional with the necessity of keeping your clothes clean.
(Law of GetSomeTableManners)
10.Any human body submerged in a tub of hot, relaxing bubble water makes the phone call.
(Law of WhoTheFuckIsCallingAtThisTime)
11.Any human body sitting on a toilet makes the doorbell ring.
(Law of ICan'tEvenShitInPeace)
12.The speed of the wind is directly proportional to the price of the recent haircut.
(Law of BaldyDoesn'tFret)
13.If, after many years, you decide to throw out something you haven't used for a long time, not even three days will pass and you'll need that same exact thing urgently.
(Law of FuckThisShit)
14. When you arrive punctually , nobody will be there to see you, but if you are barely 5 minutes late, everyone will already be there...and all of them will shake their heads disapprovingly.
(Law of I'mNotSonic)
Don't take life so seriously, after all you're not getting out of it alive!